An Open Letter To The Son of God

If you are overly religious you might not want to read this, as it may [unintentionally] offend.

Dear Jesus,
How ya been, buddy? IzZz been a while since we had a proper chat...Soz about that. I have been pretty busy-ish...prolly committin' a thousand sins that I don't know about. Hey, I can't help it.

Easter is coming up, and scuse me if I'm wrong but I reckon a lot more peeps (sorry, seasonal pun I had to make) are gonna be thinkin' about chocklit an' painted eggz more than you risin' from the grave and all. That must suck, what with your birthday and your resurrection turnin' into such huge holidays that are movin' farther and farther away from havin' to do with you. But hey, at least people are happy during them! I, for one, will be sinking into a deep depression resulting from the obscene amount of creme eggs that I will not be consuming. Dang. I guess this is what I get for failin' so hardcore at Lent this year. Murr.

You know, I was thinkin' about it, and I realized that I know the day you were born [or at least the day we celebrate it...I'm less sure about the actual day. Nine months from La Immacolata is 8 Sept but that doesn't sound right...hmmm] and the day you were resurrected [Easter, that's easy], but not the day you died. If you rose on the 3rd day, I guess that means the Friday before Easter. At least if you were buried on the same day that you died. Do you reckon Wikipedia knows? I'm always scared to ask religious types 'cause they might think I'm bein' blasphemous or sacreligious on purpose, but I'm not. Just curious.

Well anyways, have a good Wednesday and eat a creme egg or two for me. I'm assumin' they have 'em in Heaven...though I reckon if you wanted one bad enough your dad could work somethin' out.

TTYL
xoxo your pal,
Bee Electric

P.S. D'you think you could make sure the disc drive on StrongBad isn't broken? It's makin' scary noises and I'm really stressed and worried about it, especially because I don't think I could get it fixed until I go home. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! My stress level is already through the roof 'cause of this movin' crap. Thanks JC you're the BESTEST. xB