My Computer Screen Is the colour of Urine

Got damn! One of the computer rooms totes got new monitors, which I was maj. excited about. Until I turned on my computer and the screen looked like this:



Thanks, dudes! And I was so excited, too...

The old monitors were gathered in rows on the floor like refugees...it made me sad, for some reason. Even though they were crap, I still wanted to take them home with me. And, I dunno, plant flowers in them or something. Give them a lil' love. I heart you, old rejected monitors!!

In other news, I finally got my post about the IKEA fun up, you can view it here. [Note: not only are there words, but also an insane amount of links to pictures. Bwuahahaha.]

Dang, I have to go to class soon. ::is so not even excited:: What was exciting was actually getting something accomplished last night, and getting to talk to Emma and Carrie, who I haven't had a proper chat with in ages! Yay for frenzZz and staying up too late!

Gosh, I'm frustrated right now because I really want to see The Departed, and I actually have it with me right now, but I haven't any means to view it. WTH? I guess I have to wait until tonight. Dangit.

Having ceased to be interesting,
Bee Electric

Toe-tally Gross!

My toe is finally getting better...I put together some pictures but it's kinda gross so click the link to seeee!!

The Five Lives of Bee's Toe!

I think it's getting better!

Wanting to wear different shoes,
Bee Electric

Somethin' sweet for y'all

...after all the negz! I was in a foul mood for the past couple o' days, and I am totes sorry I kinda took it out on y'all!! So enjoy the cupcake. Which brings us to...

What is up with all the cupcakes? Well, first off, I ask this of you: why the heck not? Cupcakes are cute, and MAJ delish. I have always been a loverrr of the tasty treats [hence my tradition of chocolate cake/chocolate frosting/chocolate sprinkled cupcakes every year for school on my birthday...last year would have been the...12th or 13th year...straight...] and semi-recently [within the past few months] adopted the word [and image] into my new alter-ego, Bee Cupcake. And yes, this is an alter-ego to Bee Electric, which is an alter-ego. DANG, I just can't seem to stop collecting them [see bottom of post for more info on this]! Soon I am going to be able to play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, but with myself. Holy handbags, I'm awesome!

So yeah, back to cupcakes. I was feeling the need to make over the site a little, as it's been the same[ish] for ages, and I was gettin' tired of the header [especially because it was too large for the rectangle bit]. And what is better for a makeover than cupcakes? Can't really think of anything. I must say that my obsession with the little frosting topped cuties has only increased during my time here in Italz, especially because they don't have them here. Isn't that insane? So I can tell you right now that one of the first things I'm doing when I get back to the U.S. of A. [besides eating a huge bowl of Annie's Mac'n'Cheese and weenies] is bake loads of cupcakes. And real cakes, too, as I am kind of amazing at them.

Satisfied?

On to new! fun! bee! news!

**Our school was on fire today! Well, kind of. Somehow [most likely a cigarette, but we didn't see anyone around there], the pile of discarded desks/chairs/other flammable items outside our classroom window caught a-fire! It wasn't what you might call a roaring blaze, but there were some definite flames, some stinkster smoke, loads of ash, and air distortion goin' on! Unfortunately, it was all over before I could snap a pic of either the conflagration or Giandomenico wielding the fire extinguisher, or I would be able to share it more with y'all. Added just that more excitement to a normal Latin class, though! 'Cause, you know, Latin class is just so excitin' I can hardly stand it. ::rolls eyes::



**I am goin' to Rome again! [The first time —besides when we flew in at midnight— was just to go to the theater, and though we walked around a lot, didn't really get any info on what we were seeing. And yes, I still haven't finished the post] This is another trip set up by the exchange program, only hopefully the actual trip will be more organized than the sign up process! I got the flier 4 days before I had to complete a bank transfer [of 145euro] and fax in the registration! 2 of those days were weekend, as well, which means I pretty much had 2 days. THANKS, GUYS!

Frustratin' sign upness aside, this should be a pretty rad trip! We are going to see all the major sites [Trevi Fountain, Colliseum, Museums, Vatican City, St. Peter's Basillica, etc] and it should be a party to the UTMOST. I'm pretty much really excited! I don't think anyone else from Maddz is going [they've all been to Rome loads] but this girl from the Yucatán [Mexico] that I met on the Paris trip is going, so I am teh uber stoked about that.


**Some excitin' things are gonna be happening in the somewhat near future with the Fred Flare Blog!! Stay tuned, y'all!


**I am working on finally getting slightly older posts [especially ones with prepped pictures] online! Since they will be dated for when they actually happened, I will also post a new entry when they go up, so's you don't miss them!!


**KEITH! OMGosh, you left me comments! <3 Soz I didn't mention them before, but blogger doesn't send me notification when I get them, and I didn't see them until my mom referenced one and I was completely confused!! So to reply:
*RIS is basically the same as CSI, but Italian! I love it to death.
*I am pretty fluent in Italian! My speakin' is improving by the day, but I can understand [for the most part] TV and movies, conversations, and, most importantly, class!
*Hopefully I'll have another podcast soon! They're fun!
*I'll fer sure send you before and after pics! Shoo those winter blues away!
Thanks for reading...it makes my life!


Well, I think I'm gonna finish this entry off and post it!!

But before I go...have you ever wondered what I looked like when I posted a particular post? Probably not. But, in case you did...

Click the pic for the flickr set!
[Don't worry, it's only about 7 photobooth pics]
Oh yeah, I gave up giving up sugar. It's my lifeforce, what can I say?
Sorry, Jesus, dude. I tried.


Livin' for the cupcakes,
Bee Electric

P.S. If you look at other pictures in my flickr photostream and are confused by them, they must be for posts that aren't up yet.
P.P.S. About the alter-ego thing: I have had various alter-egos in my life, and have compiled a list [by no means complete] for you to peruse [and ask for deets if you want]: Joe K. Bean, Fredricka Bloom, Raina Thomas, Fred, Bee Electric, Telemachus...my brain is not working now but there must be more... ::shrugs:: -whatever-

xoxo
Bee

Move over, Mike. There's a new Teevee in town.

Holy Geez, I have become such a teevee head lately! These are the shows that I watch on a [semi-]regular basis: Seventh Heaven, Smallville, Grande Fratello [the Italy "Big Brother"], RIS 3 [ended this week], Dr. House, Grey's Anatomy, Next, Amici, Striscia la Notizia, Date My Mom, and Room Raiders.

Tonight was Striscia, then Dr. House. While I was waiting for House to start, I checked MTV and there was a programme on about "Young Hot Hollywood." I've actually seen that before [in an airplane some time], but it was more interesting than House, which, for some reason, failed to intrigue me tonight. I must admit I don't find it the most thrilling of shows in general...perhaps some of the wit gets lost in translation. So I flipped back and forth between MTV and House until Grey's Anatomy came on.

Excellent episode tonight, omg! There was a crazy huge emergency that resulted in a couple o' folks stuck together with a big pole [think that one scene in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl where Will and Elizabeth stuck the three pirates with a pole. Only real people.], severed limbs floating around the ER, lots of fun stuff! And all the doctors got called in from the bar, where Grey was drowning her sorrows in tequila. Therefore, she spent a good deal of time wandering the hospital with an IV in her arm, trying to sober up. [She did, eventually, and was all helpful and whatnot...don't know how long she's gonna stay dandy though, as her doctorlove decided to go back to his wife.]

After Grey's [when I usually hit the hay...or the internet] was Nip/Tuck. That show is WEIRD, dude! To be perfectly honest I didn't really pay attention past the first 15 minutes 'cause I was talking to my bruzzler on the telephone, but still! Don't think I'm gonna make a habit of that show. Helps that it starts at, like, 11pm, anyways...

Glued to the boob tube,
Bee Electric

IzZz THIS how you see me?

I have never touched drugs in my life, never even smoked pot. I will never do drugs. It hurts me that people would think the opposite of me. I would rather go blind, deaf, mute, or lose all my limbs than even try any of that. I'd slit my wrists and throw myself off the Empire State Building before I'd touch any kind of drug. Though, the way things go, I might do that anyway.

NYC Forecast:
Blood showers and falling cupcakes.

My veins run with battery acid so you'd best bring along your umbrella, and watch your feet, the streets are slick with frosting.


Wishing they'd just let her
Bee Electric

This izZz my face right now.

Good-bye, powdery white substance!

This is what I am giving up for Lent. Sugar [that is all specifically sugary things like soda/candy/cookies/other dessert types, I'm not going to stand over my mom and make sure she doesn't happen to use sugar in ANYTHING] should be kinda difficult as I adore sugary things. But whatever.

Last night the toilet exploded. I pressed the little flushy button, then went to wash my hands, when I thought to myself, "That sounds louder than normal! And what on earth is that fine mist I feel upon my feet? OH MY JESUS!!" Did I mention this was at midnight? Luckily my mom was still up, as she had to fetch Valeria at a party at 1 or something. I really demonstrated my communicative abilities when I went to get her. Mom: "What's up?" Bee: "Um..." points in general direction of bathroom "I.." mimes pushing button "and...water..." makes exploding motions with her hands "yeah..." GAR! When she came to the bathroom [by now referred to by locals as "Lago del Bagno"] and saw what was goin' down, she opened the drain in the floor and went to go shut off the water. So our house isn't completely flooded, but we also have no water. WT hull??


Earlier last night was also the final episodes of this season of RIS. Everything turned out OK, I guess. Capitano Riccardo Venturi finally got to Francesca, saving her just moments before she died [she had drank a glass of water that the serial killer had put poison in], and came climbing heroically out of the hole in the ground [the SK had put her in this underground cave/tunnel bit, with a heavy duty glass door separtating her from the way out. Capitano is a badass, though, and this, coupled with his desperation (he could see 'Cesca, collapsed on the floor) allowded him to bust that shizZz] just as everyone [including Darling Davide] came drivin' up. Then Davide had to go run after this super evil criminal who Riccardo had let out to help find Francesca, but the dude had Riccardo's gun and was gonna bang bang Davide! Needless to say I wasn't really breathing at this point. But when the criminal dude fired his gun so did Davide, but only Davide's hit the mark. That kinda messed him up a bit...I dunno if the CD had a history with the them or something 'cause all the carabinieri types seemed sad when he died. -whatever- The eps ended with Riccardo and Vincenzo [Francesca's dad] being friends again [they had a falling out last week when Riccardo's hand spazzed and he dropped his gun, which was then grabbed by the SK who shot Vincenzo], and Francesca recouperatin' in the hospital. Only Riccardo might not be capitano anymore next season because of the hand thing [caused by a bomb that blew in his face a few weeks ago] is worrisome, specially if he can't hold a gun. The only other thing that I wasn't too ezacktly happy about is that Francesca and Davide are just friends now. I totes thought they were gonna be together, especially because he was so out his mind when Francesca was in danger, but he is still with his girlfriend/roommate, Sara. I guess that is what he ought to do, as she's preggers. But I like it better when he's with Francesca. Other than that, though, things were dandy.

Sorry that was so long, but every week it's 2 back to back episodes, so I had 2 and a half hours or so to cover!! Now here's some pictures, so you know who I'm talking about:

Vincenzo [Francesca's dad]


Francesca



Capitano Riccardo [who in real life is named "Lorenzo Flaherty"...brotha's half Irish!]


And to finish it off...
Davide!!! <3 Il mio amore perfetto.



Done with the RIS talk now...Kinda. I want to buy an all-regions DVD player for my house in California, so I can buy DVDs here [such as, oh, I dunno, RIS, and other movies that aren't out in the US] and, as I'm not ezacktly swimming in cash, would like a cheap one. I found this on Amazon...should I get it? Does anyone know any good all regions DVD players??

OK ketchup with ya later!

Searchin' for the mustard,
Bee Electric

IntarWub Goodies!!

What I have been chexin' up on in the world of the InterNets.

*Urban Curators: I ran across these folks on BoingBoing and totes fell in love with them. From their mission statement: "The goal of the Urban Curators project is to engage the public in the celebration of the decaying urban environment, recognizing its inherent aesthetic qualities as well as the important role that it plays within our cultural habitat." Urban Curators was started by a group of RISD students, and what they do is run about Providence, Rhode Island, hanging gold frames on old buildings and such, to bring attention to "objects and views that are of aesthetic or cultural value". One reason this strikes my fancy is that I spend a lot of time taking pictures of such things, because sometimes a crumbling old wall can be beautiful. Needless to say, most people think that I'm quite daft.

*This video: I believe this is what they call hysterically funny...especially because it is in Norwegian, which is inherently hilarious. Don't worry, though, the Norwegian subtitles are subtitled in English.


*MAKE: Blog's Egg Drop Secrets: I should really hold on to this, in case I need to do this in physics next year. Although I don't think a jar of peanut butter is usually on the "accepted materials" list. Oh well, it didn't work anyways. Was kinda gross, though!

*Spice Girls Reuniting!: I heard some whispers of this possibility on the Fred Flare Blog a lil' bit ago, but this looks like it might actually happen! Everyone's favourite Girlz are gonna be back! in! action! this summz, with a super large concert in LDN and then some other ones as well around England. OK, I am totes organizing a pilgrimage, OMG!

*YouTube: I have been spending heaps of time on YouTube lately, mostly watching music videos and feeling nostalgic for early Good Charlotte. Now, I'm still super keen on GC, I like their new songs [though the whole double release Chronicles of Life and Death thing was patently LETARDED] and whatnot, but I kinda miss back when Benji had outrageous hair and before Joel started dating overly skinny celebutantes [Hilary Duff, who we all know my feelings on, and now Nicole Ritchie]. That is why I still sleep with a poster of them [Benj's pink jaguar hair included] above my bed.

"The Anthem"


"Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"



And I'm out.


Dancing around the room,
Bee Electric

Happy Birthday to Parz!

It is Paris Hilton's 26th birthday today!!

Doesn't she look so pretty pretty at the Vienna Opera?? Like Belle in Beauty and the Beast.


Feelin' the blonde power,
Bee Electric

I always knew me and Linz were Twinz

[if you know me, you know how true this is for me]

Jumpin' like butterballs,
Bee Electric

Late again.

Meh.

Swedish People are Insanely Brilliant!

I. Love. IKEA. So therefore I was totes stoked to check out it Italz one! It was kind of amazing. The layout was a bit different than the other ones I've been in [Emeryville and Palo Alto], in that it seemed a bit more open and spread out ish...those two are a bit more stacked feeling. Maybe the difference is because this one is probably a bit newer?

I started completely freaking out when we were walking around, like I usually do, because I wanted to buy every single thing. Seriously, IKEA is pretty much reason to build a house with 10,000 rooms, just so's you can recreate all of their samples!

I love taking pictures in IKEA, partly because, as I can't buy all the prodz [obv!], I don't want to forget anything! And also because the pure genius of it all makes awesome pics! Unfortunately, I was only able to get a few before an employee guy was all "Halt afore I force-choke you!" Chillax, dude! Store folk are much more crazy insane in Italz, I think. In the US I can snap whatever I want and they don't care. This is the second time in good ole Italy that I've been told to stop takin' pictures! Man... There were, however, some supah-sweet funhouse mirrors in there that I couldn't resist documentin'...had to be all super sneakz, because they were right next to an info desk. Bros didn't notice, and I came out clean!

I didn't buy too much, just a few pretty notebooks that were on sale. Oh yeah, and Flossie the Barnslug, Herbie's new BFF and the latest addition to my collection of weird-lookin' but cute stuffed animals! [Why "Barnslug"? Because I mis-read the tag that said "Barnslig". And slug sounds better, anyway. Better, and dangerous.] I also have my eye on a Joanna doll from OverCompensating [they are gonna be sold later this week], and am hoping that I [a] don't miss out and [b] can afford one.

Unfortunately, this trip to IKEAz did not include the traditional meatball munchin' and lingonberry gobblin', as my fam didn't really want to stop in the restaurant [we got tasty 1 dollah cheese sammiches on the way out], and I was kind of scared of eating an entire jar of lingonberries all by myself.

There was a playground in the parkin' lot that Valeria took full advantage of, and some pretty sweet flags that I wouldn't have minded stealin'. Next time, next time.

When we got home, the first order of business was assembling the crazy pouf that Vale got, upon which Valeria and Vincenzo soon made themselves comfortable.

All in all it was quite the successful trip, and I hope to make another one soon!

Wanting to live in IKEA,
Bee Electric

P.S. Click the pic to go to the set, links throughout lead to individual pictures.
P.P.S. The number of links in this post borders on obscene.

Feelin' the LUUUUURVE

OK so this is more important than anything else in this entry will be:
Replied comment from Vanessa at FredFlare:

Hi Bee!

Thanks so much for being on of our fave readers! We love reading your
comments aloud in the office. You're totally the funnest.

Have a fun weekend!

Sincerely,
Vanessa


Seriously, I have been insane in love with Fred Flare for years, and I remember watching the first podcasts and thinking, "Wow, these people are so amazing..." [I still think that!] and just the fact that I am now besties with them just makes my millenium. I heart FF tantissimo!!!!

OK, moving on...

Today at school was kind of weird. I am actually super tired and don't feel like going into it now, but I didn't have a normal school day [nothin' too exciting happened]...DANG there was something I was going to say about it but I can't remember what it was....whatever.

Giuseppina called this evening...some skool related stuff but I'll flesh that out later, but one thing that made me SUPER HAPPY is she said that my mom was really enthusiastic about me!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!! I guess my concious efforts at being social have paid off.

One thing that helps being social is getting sleep...so I think I'm gonna do that!

Ketch you 2moz,
Bee Electric

Dude...you're living up to your rep

KQED, stop being arrogant. Especially in the middle of a pledge break, come on! Don't ruin this for me!!

"Do you want to listen to commercial radio and hear about the early demise of Anna Nicole Smith or do you want to spend 10 minutes with us and a Harvard scientist looking for mushrooms?"

The stereotypical public radio...osity is hurting me!!

I wouldn't consider myself an Anna Nicole fan, but it still isn't nice to make fun of people who die. Especially when they had a little baby. Murrrrrrrrrrr....

In more awesome news:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Words.

The world's best me,
Bee Electric

four Things that Are True

Click the first 3 pics for bigger, wordless versions.

Normal post [+ more picturezZz in the flickr] comin' when it isn't 2am.

Feelin' kinda indie rock,
Bee Electric

HOLY CRAPSTERATION

It is soooo stormy right now you would not believe. Rain, lightning, and thunder so loud I am just about to crumble with the vibrations!!

Real post coming soon....

Lighnin' the grease,
Bee Electric

Oh, How I miss Highly Caffinated Beverages...

Lindsay Lohan, taking a break from rehab for filming on her new movie, A Woman of No Importance.

Giggling at celebries,
Bee Electric

MMMR Shutdown NO LIFE

Yezzzz I know I haven't really been updatin' but hey, nothing interesting has happened! To prove that point, I'm feeling really full and my stomach kind of hurts...hmmm that's it!

Plus my laptop is about to DIE [battery wise] and it is all of 11:30 so that means...BED TIME FOR BEE!!

What what...

Reppin' the gansta life,
Bee Electric

I love to Panic!

Yep Panic! At The Disco is pretty much Hausome [and no, I'm not just discovering this now]. And I have a crush on a guy at my school who looks like the lead singer.

Check out the video for "I write sins not tragedies"

Whenever this song came on Live105 I used to sit right next to the speaker to listen to it.

N-joy!

Roxing out in the computer lab,
Bee Electric

Questions I often find myself asking

"Who stole the Wolf's Poop?"

and

"Why did I not listen to online/get podcasts from NPR etc before?"
Oh yeah, I physically couldn't until this week. DURRRRRRRRRRRR.

Speaking of podcasts I would be working on my next but frankly I am having too good of a time listening to the radio.

Whatever, tomoz is Sunday [FINALLY, OMG] so I can work on it then!!!

Ugh, I have a stomach ache. Possibly caused by the hot dog/french fry sammie I had for dinner. Or the can of Pepsi I drank. Or the repeated [futile] attempts to produce a quality belch.

EVERYONE STATESIDE SHOULD GO SEE Factory Girl SO'S I CAN BE PROPER JEALOUS OF YOU. Yes I know critics or whatever are saying it sucks but I still want to see it. <3 Andy and Edie and Mary-Kate Olsen [who is in the movie for like 30 seconds]. And: Did anyone see Blood Diamond? That's another one I really want to view.

I think it's funny that our lil' cinema here is playing the same movies as Point Arena. Rockin'!

Boy I sure am excited for Spider-Man 3! Black Snake Moan looks pretty snazzy, too. Bridge to Terabithia seems different than I remember the book, but I actually don't remember much from the book, except it made me cry.

See ya at the movies,
Bee Electric

And in the mornin', I'm makin' WAFFLES.

Listenin' to KQED,
Bee Electric

P.S. It is so windy right you would not believe. -omg-

Tabbee

My mouth tastes like
.
This is bothersome, as I coulda sworn I brushed after snack.

Running out of room,
Bee Electric

My Classwork...Expunged

Written durin' school today...btw I have no idear what Expunged means.

*2dayz HOT TOPIC (by BeeDecree)*
The First! Ever! Bee Electric! Vlog! Podcast! Video Bit! Cosa pensi? Whatcha think? Of course it iz short and kinda lame, but then, so am I! I hope you had at least a little fun watchin' it, as I had a bunch o' fun makin' it! Even though I had about half a second of usable footage. "Footage." Haha! I'm such a toad. Hopefulling the next installment/episode/whatever will be sckooler.

Holy Jumping Butterballs! My stomach is havin' a Grade-A meltdown! I think it prolly has somethin' to do with my weird-arse diet yesterday:
*Breakfast: Pack of saltines [4 crackers], Snickers, 2 coffees
*Lunch: 1 serving pasta with chreamy sauce, shrimp, and zucchini [in the pasta], diet imitation Coke
*Dinner: Pepsi, lots o' potato chips, dark chocolate, greens awith olives, capers, and pine nuts [later].
Que healthy! Vabbè...

Speaking vaguely of health-related issues, Vale quit dance [at least the classes here— as far as I know she still wants to go to the Academy/Institute in Rome after graduation], and by default, so did I. She says it's for real this time. If that's true, I reckon they are gonna have some major holes in their dances! I'm fine with either way she actually goes— though I want her to be able to dance, because I know she loves it, I also know what it is like to be in a situation so letarded it takes a lot of the joy out of something you adore [::cough::gymnastics::cough::]. It would be nice not to have as many bored outta my skull hours per week, since I was yanked without explaination [what the hull?] from the moderna choregraphy, so I wasn't gonna be doing that anyways [I reckon].

Breaking news! This just in! There izZz a new Aussie girl at our school! Sketch-ay. I thought we weren't going to gave anymore, since they all went home. Apparently, however, the Australians are disPATCHED in bATCHEZ. So we got a new lass- she's from near Sydney [which I heard as "New Sydney" at first. Bee: "There's a New Sydney? Rad! Gotsa jump on that bandwagon!" OzZzie girl: "Ummm...."] I can't recall her name but she seems pretty nice. During our little rendez-vous Miano [the first time I've seen her in weeks; apparently helping Bee not have math and physics classes is not something she feels the need to do. Thanks, luv!] lent me this photocopied Italian course book from Giuseppina— If I want to use it I gots to make my own photocopies, then give it back. Mom— are you sending me that Ultimate Italian book? Perchè non vorrei pagare per fare le fotocopie per un libro [forse anche troppo facile] se sei inviandome un altro! Dude! That Aussie girl was all, "Do you speak Italian?" [I reckon 'cause Miano was givin' me a "Learn Italian" book]. Before I could answer Miano was all, "She's lazy." Thanx, hun! My response was pretty much "What-EVAR! I speak Italz like a mad woman, and am a pretty good hand at Napolitano, too. So therez." Beh.

Since I am basically GeniusGirl, I have a devised a brill-beyond-brilliant way to make my boring classes [i.e. nearly all] slightly more interessante! IzZz called "Veronica the Super Duper EyePod: Operation Stealthster." ThazZz rite, innit! What VtSDEP:OS means is that [with sweatshirt on & hood up] I can listen [with one ear open so I'm not compleets oblivious] to the audio content of my choice instead of, say, Italian fraction nonsense. 10 points for technology!

Yuck...English class. Teacher's still stuck on the whole other day thing, sayin' I was "upset" and whatnot. 'Scuse me, lady, but I wasn't upset — OK, maybe I was, but more in a "I HAVE TIRED OF YOU AND THE IGNORANCE OF YOUR WAYS" sort of fashion than the implied "OMG the teacher said I'm wrong brb g2g cry now!!!!11!". Apparently she "has nothing towards me" which is too bad 'cause I sure as heck have something towards her! It is a neon arrow of Dislike and I have named it JesusFish. Oh mio dio, now the Latin teacher's talking about the "contadino" thing. What monster art thou? I do bid thee to speak, to reveal thyself for what thee truly be!

A snazzy thing about bein' in Italy: nearly everyone here [spesh teen-folk...or maybe that is just who I hang with] does the airkiss howdy/buhbye, and everyone says "Ciao" like it were goin' outta style. That means that I can, too, and be Normz like Rockwell, instead of a pretentious twit like most people who do that in the U.S. There, it's for 20-something wanna-be Europeans with Netflix queues and Starbucks in the cupholder. Here it's as common as the "Yo, dude"/head jerk is in the hallways of America's high schools. Only so much more continental. Ciao, darling, I'm off to my Pilates class. Slurp.

OMGosh. I just got the BESTEST idear for a television show! My new capacity as GeniusGirl is keepin' me hoppin'! This is how it [the TeeVee show] works: if the target/victim is foreigner, they are secretly filmed whilst an actor from the cast [masquerading as a member of the general public, of course] does something obscenely stereotypical American to them. If the T/V is American, they are tricked into being an obscenely stereotypical one [note— this could prove too easy - more interesting, maybe, if the T/V is a birkenstock wearin' peacemonger treehugger who sponsers a 3rd world child]. Hilarity ensues, and when the joke has played out, the T/V is given a cheapo miniature American flag that they wave as I waltz out from my cleverly hidden spot to deliver what is sure to be the most popular line since "You're fired!". Wait for it...wait for it...."YOU'VE BEEN YANKED!" Oh shizZz! Possible episode ideas include: "MAYBE YOU'LL MAGICALLY LEARN TO SPEAK ENGLISH IF I SHOUT AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS" and "Look, honey, it's a terrorist!" [Pointing at a harmless bearded fellow— possibly not even Middle-Eastern]. Season finale: invade a country that has nothing to do with us and, at high cost [both money and in human life] make it more unstable and dangerous than it was before. What do you mean that's already been done? Day-um. Unrated Season DVD extras: Draw inspiration from "Guantanamo Bay" and "Abu Ghraib". I'm gonna be the Ashton Kutcher for the next generation. Without, you know, Demi Moore. HAUSOME!

I just read that last paragraph over. Dear God I'm a twisted lil' creep. I can't believe I even posted it...

Just a little messed up,
Bee Electric

In Livin' Colour

Oh. My. God. I'm a podcaster. Shutup, Daniel.

Soz about the shnatchz quality...YouTube wouldn't upload the better one, and Google Video was just bein' plain jane letareded.

I know it's short as a munchkin and borin' to boot, and certainly no wherez near as hausesome as the Flare's first attempt [or any thereafter] but I am workin' on it...stay tuned.

Beeing confused by iTunes,
Bee Electric

P.S. Yeah, I know I mentioned the alien thing the 2nd time like I just though of it...I have a very short attention span. And I'm saying "pops" and "pop babies", not "pot". They didn't used to give out pot at Jay Baker's [at least not to me... >.>] and I don't know what a pot baby is. A hippy version of the crack baby?

OnoMEstico

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot. Today is my onomastico slash saint's day!!

"Brede, Brede, tar gys my thie, tar dyn thie ayms noght.
Foshil jee yn dorrys da Brede, as lhig da Brede e beet staigh."
" Bridget, Bridget, come to my house, come to my house to-night.
Open the door for Bridget, and let Bridget come in."

ThazZz right.

Ni bu Sanct Brigid suanach
Ni bu huarach im sheire Dé,
Sech ni chiuir ni cossens
Ind nóeb dibad bethath che.

(Saint Brigid was not given to sleep,
Nor was she intermittent about God's love;
Not merely that she did not buy, she did not seek for
The wealth of this world below, the holy one.)

So happy day to meeeeee!!

Btw, I think that "Ni bu Sanct Brigid suanach" is my new slogan. If only I knew how to say it....

FMO: Wikipedia entry, Catholic Encyclopedia.

Feelin' kinda holey and a lil' spesh,
[St] Bee Electric

Someone Set Us Up The Lite-Brite

In case you missed this [unlikely], Boston went letardedly insane on Wednesday over what were basically a bunch of Lite-Brites all over the city. That had been there for 2 weeks [and in 10 other major US cities, including New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles]. They ended up spending half a million dollars [plus] dealing with the harmless devices, and arresting the two fellows who put them up, calling it a "hoax". The light-up signs feature Mooninites from the tv series "Aqua Teen Hunger Force", and were part of a national campaign to promote the upcoming movie. Not in any way intended to be thought of as a bomb, and anyone with half a brain could figure out that they fer sure weren't a terrorist plot to distroy the UNIVERSE.

God, people are stupid.

Additional Links: CNN story; Suspicious in Seattle

Giggling Oafishly,
Bee Electric

P.S. I tried posting this earlier but Blogger wouldn't let me. What the hull?

This is the Comedown

Dear peanut, I hate Michele, aka Gina's ex-host brother. OMG. I never really liked him, due to his creepyness and jerkfase ness to Ginster, but he never actually did anything directly to me.

Story time!

This afternoon, after Vale's dance class, we went over to Giovanni's house for pizza. I was supes sleepster, but figured whatevz, I can handle this. Before the pizza came I was pretty much just chillin' on the couch with everyone, watching music videos. Then I ate too much greasy-arse pizza [I haven't had a quality pizza in ages, this sucks], and everyone went outside to smoke cigarettes, so I settled down on the couch with MTV on. And fell asleep. Until Michele and Fabrizio, hiding behind the other couch, started throwing stuff at me [starting with a pillow, progressing to other objects]. Hard. And then giggling. Fragz. He was all proud of it later, too. Grrrrr....

What the heck is it with me? Do I have some big neon sign that everyone can see but me that says "Plz be mean to me"?? Yuck.

Then, to further end my day on a bad note, I just found out that Pascal, Annette, the other Alex, and Franco all went to Rome to see Gina and the German before they both went off to their respective countries [that would be America and Australia]. Nobody told me about this before [there was vague talk of going to see Gina, but no firm plans, and no German mention], or afterwords...I just now happened to see some pictures. That makes me really...I dunno...sad? Because I would have liked to say goodbye to Gina again, and I heart Dave so seein' him would be hauseome. Whatever, can't do anything about it now, but I am a little hurt.

Wandering off to dream of feta cheese,
Bee Electric

Someone needs a punch in the head.

Sometimes I can't even believe the US Administration. Seriously, they have reached heights [lows?] of rediculiousness that are borderline fantastic. [that is as in fantasy, not as in awesome] Their great plan to stop global warming is really making me feel safe, giving me confidence. THANKS GUYS.

I'm going to go plug my computer in now...this is to depressing.

Doing her part in mirrored sunglasses,
Bee Electric

Return to Paris

Man, I really wish I could just hop back over to Paris, OMG! For many reasons, but this post is prompted by this Style Bubble post that says that Target's Tar-Jay is gonna be at Colette! What the hull...why did I have to miss this combo of two of my fave stores EVAR?? People suck.

Things that so don't even suck: LAPTOP ON THE INTERNET OMG!!! YESSSS!!!!!

Chex out my Chanel sunnies here:

(Click to go to flickr set)

Learning to type again,
Bee Electric

Skool Daze get longer when they suck.

This is the post I promised yesterday...It was began in astronomy class and ended in English.

+*+*+

Today is minerals. I'm super over them, an unfortunate byproduct of the hours I've spent in museum gift shops and science stores with their miniature sacks to fill with bite sized minerals. Fool's goold doesn't impress me - I'm Californian. I've produced the real thing from the mud with a pan. Clear quartz revives feelings of guilt from childhood, rose reminds me of my best friend. The scientific formulas on the handout make me want to cry so I close my eyes and sleep my way out of this basement classroom. Suprisingly, I don't get caught, strange because my seat is three and a half feet away from the prof.

After waking, instead of paying attention I'm letting my mind wander and where it takes me is fourth grade. I have a Pooh bucket hat and braces, smiling for the camera outside the entrance to a gold mine. Behind me, in the dark, is the funiculare in which the miners descended into the depths. "Roller coaster," we called it, giggling, feeling imagined wind on our raised palms. With the after image of flashes burning our retinas, we made a Disneyland of the past, lacking only the lines to "Meet the Miner" - though animatronics almost make up for the discrepancy. "Get shot by bandits, 2 pm, by the stagecoach. Reservations recommended." In our amusement park of Gold Rush California, lines are short and you never want to leave. Kelly bought goldflake earrings in the giftshop there, at the mine where blue water danced in the fountains and the intricate vents of the big house were painted green.

When I emerge from my reverie it's English class with the teacher I hate. She's one ofthose stupid people who think that Americans speak a different language from the British. I almost want to ask her hwat they speak in Mexico to see if she says "Mexican". Schema. There's no excuse for blatant ignorance when you're shaping the futures of a nations children. [Or when you are running the country. ::cough::Bush::cough:: Sorry...couldn't resist]. Jesus Christ! I hate it when the stupid cow says that I don't know anything because I'm American. Screw you. At least I speak English, which is more than you can truthfully claim. And when I say "peasants" I say "pEHsants," not "pEEsants." So there.

*+*+*

Okay, so I have a few hostility issues against the English teacher. Not my fault! She treats me like I don't know anything...in fact, the other day she told me that I "can't know English literature". Because I'm American, of course. What a turd! God! I think she is the only teacher that I have now that really bugz me...I don't adore all the others but they don't get my dander up like she does.

In other news, I don't think that we're going to school today, 'cause Vale didn't have time to finish studying. 10 points! Though I wish that I had found that out, you know, before I woke up and got dressed etc at 7:30ish. Sleep is dear, as we all know. Vabbè...

Not bombing Boston,
Bee Electric

Failing at FATALITIES!

Howdy, kidz!

Today was a decent day, I reckon. School was alright...not too bad, but not exceedingly awesome, either. I wrote a bit about it [during school] that I'll post later - don't really feel like typing it up right now.

After school we kind of chillaxed around for a bit [after eating a tasty lunch consisting of pasta with egg (forse a kind of carbonara? boh but it was delish], and then tuna and tomato salad. Yumster!! When it was time for Valster to go to ballet I planned on going with but, as I fell asleep in the car, changed my mind and went with my mom to Imma's, figuring it would be better to sleep there than in the dance studio.

Sleep? Ha! Instead of dozing on the couch, as I am wont to do, I played Mortal Kombat with Vince [pronounced "Veen-chay", not "Vinse"] for 2 hours! It was awesome, and I was actually doing pretty well at it, especially considering it was my second time playing, ever. I was keeping pretty even with him in the points area, which was a tad difficult because his character dude had this hat that he could use as a kind of slicin' frisbee and take out foes real easy. But then he got the ability to do fatalities [when you "FINISH HIM" and totes take someone out...it shows it all big and gory] and I didn't, and you get like, 500-600 points per fatality. Dang. All in all though, it was Rad O Licious! I wanna get a PlayStation when I get home...hook it up to a ghetto teevee from Pay'n'Take, and I'll be the koolest g4m3r EVAR.

When Vale was done with her ballet class she came over to Imma's and we had dinner - pizza, from this place in San Marco called "Il Coliseo" or however you spell "Collisium" in Italian. It's OK, not as good as L'Anfora, of course, and a tad on the greaster side, but not too shabby. I couldn't eat all of mine, a side affect from eating a bunch o' lunch and munchin' on cookies before we left. Vabbè.

After dindin we watched Chronicles of Narnia on SKY Cinema [well, started it...we left partway through, as it finished about...10 minutes ago - 11:25 or something]. I LOVE THAT MOVIE, OMG. And my crush on William Moseley [Peter] was totes revived to the EXtreme. Not that it ever died, of course, but seein' that laddie bein' all Chronic-what-cles of Narnia just sent my heart a-flutterin'. How lovely he is! And thanks to the fact that we missed the end, I didn't have to see the gnarlster Grown Up Peter. Hausome!


Isn't he cute???

I was going to write an entry about how the world is going to hell in a handbasket, but as I want to go to bed, I'll leave you with this:

VOTE FOR THIS FELLOW IN 2008! Lord knows I'm going to. Because I can do that. Or, will be able to.

[that is Barack Obama, in case you live under a rock]

For the win,
Bee Electric

Dear God This Country Is Weird...

o.O

Boy am I glad to be a Maddz E|Xie not a Bari one [and I know several of those]...

Now with that cheery thought I am going to brush my teeth, set my alarm, and knock the heck out.

Bye byez,
Bee Electric

Maybe I Ehn't Movin' After All

I just counted on my fingers and I pretty much just have 4 and a half months left. It would be totes raw to have to move 6 weeks before I leave this country.

A little more secure,
Bee Electric

P.S. Way to be slackster, SEP!: "The 2007 brochure will be available in February 2007." Now I get to check it every day for another month! Hope it'll be up by the JC deadline!

Il Mio Ragazzo...

Chex out my boyfriend!!



Heh heh, I wish. That would be Stefano Pesce [yes, fish], aka Davide Testi on my totes fave teevee show, RIS 3! Holy shizZz I just looked it up and he turns 40 this year...hahahahahahaha! Vabbè, still hot.

Today was pretty fun and chill...I'll post more about it later but I wanna go to bed now...

BTW, I don't know how long I am going to be with Vale's family. I had thought for the rest of the time, but then today Vale was talkin' some 3 months somethin'. I don't want to move again! Partly because I'm really happy here and I love this family, and also because it is, frankly, a huge pain in the arse. Also, where would I go? Move in with Franco at Giuppina's house? Gah...But yeah, I don't know for sure, but it is hard to ask, you know. "So...how long do I get to live here?" Yeah. I am gonna try to find out more, 'cause I hate not knowing.

A bit frustrated,
Bee Electric

Technically Disco

Ciao Raga!!

Hmmm where to begin...I haven't had a proper update in [i]ages[/i], mostly due to the fact that I have actually been [i]sleeping[/i] lately, -omg-.

On Saturday evening I called my dearest duckling of a best friend, and it was LOOOOVELY. We had such a nice D&D chat, something that we haven't really had a chance to do since I left. It reminded me just why I like her so much, why she is my SUPER AWESOME BEST FRIEND WONDER TWIN SUPERSTAH. Not that I had forgotten...the only downside is it made me miss her even more. What the heck is up with that??

But Duckster, even though I don't think you read this, you wanted to know what we ended up doing that night, so here goes: We actually ended up going out, even though I really didn't want to, as I was super mad tired. However, we left the house an hour later than planned, which meant I spent an hour on the couch watching Mtv [Room Raiders: Arizona, and Date My Mom]. When we eventually left, we walked to this discoteca where apparently there was a festa. We didn't go in, though, just stood around in the cold for ages, until we drove to this pizzeria/rossticeria and got something to eat. I spent 2 euro on a REALLY GROSS hot dog and french fry sammich. I should have just stuck with the 1 euro pizza. Dang.

After eating we returned to said discoteca, again did not go inside, but stood around in the chill for a while longer, until Vale etc got bored, and we went to Antonella's house. [On the way there we passed a girl I knew who said hi to me, but I totes did not recognize her and took too long to respond. And then I tripped over a chair. 10 points!] At Anto's house we just sat around, and I was so tired that I literally fell asleep. ::shrugs:: What can ya do? After a bit we returned home [2 hours after we left], and I promptly went to bed. It was loooovely.

The next day [Sunday] was pretty chill...I slept 'till about 9, got up, took a shower, watched a lil' Mtv [since I figured out that we get it I watch it pretty much whenever no one else is using the TV. Yesss!], then we went to Imma's house for lunch etc. My bro and his fam were there as well, and then some cousins etc showed, too. I played some PlayStation with Vincenzo and Salvatore [my lil' nephews], and totes got my bum kicked in Mortal Kombat. But hey, it was my first time playing, and I actually did pretty good until we met the crazy otherworld fighting chicks, who completely annihilated me.

Today we had 2 hours of lesson and then assemblea. Which, in this case, meant they played music really loud outside. -party-. And we got let out at noonish. 10 points for coming home early!! I ate lunch, took a nap, watched a little Japanese cartoons, a little SpongeBob, then we went to Imma's house for din dinz. While there, I watched American Pie 2 on the TeeVee...in Italian. Wow.

The new episode of the Fred Flare podcast inspired me to write up this lil' list of things I heart...to be added to in the future as we get closer to VALENTIMES DAY OMG!!

I love: Fred Flare * My friends * Coffee * The Internet * Comic books * Pizza * The Eiffel Tower * New York in February * Valentime’s Day * Hearts * California * My blog * Staying up late * Sleeping in * Dancing * Watching movies * Hot dogs *

I have more things to share with the peanut gallery [that would be you, darling], but as it is after 1am and even though I have rotation 2moz I would like to sleep!

Hoping that Veronica still has some charge,
Bee Electric

Happy Elijah Wood's Birthday!!

[that is, the 28th].

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Elijah,
Happy birthday to you!!!

Elijah Jordan Wood is 26 years old today! Golly gee how time flies.

I celebrated by taking a shower. And am going to further celebrate by going to bed. Catch ya all later!

Asleep already,
Bee Electric

Drat the n00bz!

Oh, darling FFs and your tendency to bring out new prodz!

This lovely pursopolis hath captured mon cuore [idk how to spell that in the french so i'll go with italian] and now I gots to rethink my FF order a bit!! Vedi:


Che bella!!

Another bellixima thing izZz that I got mah pacco today!!! 10 pts for pink blankinz, tasty candy, Spider-Man, and n00d Orlikinz!! <3 Mi piace!

Mkay bye bye

Off to eat come candinz and read some newzinz,
Bee Electric

Evals and Oregon and Pain in the Rib

Man, my ribs still hurt really badly!! I don't know what is up with that!!! It even showed up in my dream...It's not even just a bone hurt anymore, more like it has infiltrated into my organzZz...spesh my solar plex, it feels like it has poked its way into my...whatever squishy thing is beneath it. HurtzZz like mad but i haven't said anything about it 'cause i wouldn't know what to say "'scuse me i fink i may have a pain in mah organzZz or mah ribzZz an' it hurts a rather lot but i can't really explain it" and also i keep hoping it'll just go away. here's to hoping!

I got my mid-year ASS3 evaluation questionnaire bit thing today...i have no idear how to fill it out, as it asks host family questions and i dunno whether to answer for this one or the first one...gah I hate filling out evalz...that was like, the worst part about SEP, spesh 'cause you had to, seriously, do about 15. in one day. YUKSTER.

speakin' of SEP, they have the costs up [$1220 for tuition, room and board plus $25 registration fee - thazZz for campers...i think it's half that for JCs] but no sign of the applications. they have 6 days before they are officially LATE. and i cry. slash email them.

mKay I'm gonna go...moan and groan and dig out my ole bus passes now, catch yaz on the flip side!!

wondering if you knew that you can get packages of pre-made pancakes in france,
Bee Electric

I want, I miss, and wheat the heck?

These are the things I want from FF...If anyone wants to buy them for me I'm OK with that but if not...Mum e-mail me...

This makes me miss Parz like nuffin' else, spesh the lil' videos of the Eiffel Tower sparklin'...you have to click and watch it, it is OMG amazing, but 13289473298 billion x more in RL...

Does
Attempted Delivery ITALY
01/24/07 10:15am
mean that I ehn't gettin' my package? L4mr.

Holy Wheaties my ribz hurt!!!! What the hex is up with that...man, Mumzter, if I do end up gettin' thizZz pacco, could you stick some ibuprofen in the next one? Thnx.

Mkay I think I am gonna go watch mTV now. It is le-tarded how much television I watch now, OMG. Soz, parents, I rexon that all yer years senza-TV have kind of crumbled like...Apple crumb pie!!

Bye bye birdie,
Bee Electric

'Scuse me whilst I have a Freak Out

OK I know y'all are probz BORED OUT YER MINDZ with me having Fred Flare Freak Outs, but yer gonna have to live with 'em, as they are pretty much the most exciting things to happen to me. Here's my latest, from this post by Keith:

"I spent my junior year of high school in France as an exchange student and I was sooooo lonely. I had no friends and I didn’t have the internets to keep me company like you do, Bee, so I’d go to the movies a lot. It was a good distraction. There was this artsy cinema called LE ROYALE and I saw a bunch of random stuff there."

M'kay I hope that my copious Italicizing slash bolderizing slash underlining made it obvious to you that it says BEE in there...that's meeeeee!!! Holy jeez that soooo threw me a loop when I read it...like when you're just walkin' down the street and someone sticks a high voltage powerline in yer ear...GOLLY!!

It doesn't matter if I'm sickster anymore...my week has been MADE!! Heck, my year hazZz been made, and it ehn't even February yet!

Now I gots to decide whether to spend the money I have saved over the past few weeks on more rad Fred stuff [whilst they are havin' Free Shipping] or save it for l8rz...Hm....

Still buzzin,
Bee Electric [you know, the famous one]

P.S. Izn't Chloe St Reagan cute?

XD

How'z ya bin?

Hey Kidz...

I've been somewhat better...by which I mean I haven't been roxin' a fever or anything...I slept all night and woke up this mornin' between 11:30 and 12 going "OMG WHERE'S MY PURSE?!?!?!" ['cause, in my dream, I had left it somewheres in the White House...yeah, that's right, they let me in]

I still am mad tired lots of the time and feel a lil' weak [prolly a side effect of the fact that I wasn't eatin' much for the past 4 dayz...] and kinda sore from staying in bed all day...spesh my rib cage and solar plexus...ouchie!!

And I have yet to take a shower so I rexon I'm still a bit stinkster...vabbè I'll take one 2nite...maybez go to school 2moz but I don't know. Haven't been to school since Sat which has been quite nice...apart from the fact that I was sick through 2 non school days [Sunday and Tuesday] and therefore couldn't enjoy them...

OK well I'm off to go lounge in my bed, read UK Elle, and watch The Lucy Show on my laptop...

Catch yaz later....
Bee Electric

P.S. Current weather: Cold, gray, windy, and rainy.
Current listening: M.I.A. - Sunshowers. I wish.

P.P.S. Was gonna call my parents after I finished thizZz...but then though about it; what would I say? "Hi, Mommmy, my ribz hurt....durrrr" So I decided, m'kay, no kthnx. Soz Mummerz...I'll call you some time else. Or you could call me. -whatever-

In-flu-enza, betchez!

Hey kidz!

So, in case you were wondering why you haven't heard from the ole Beester in a couple o' dayz, it's 'cause thizZz lil' lady has been sickster in bed with the influenza omg! At one time rockin' a fever of 104° [that izZz Farenheit...40° Celsius]!! But yeh, I'm pretty much all bettah now, 'cept I'm still awful tired an' sore from stayin in bed for 3 days, plus I feel all gross and smell kinda funny [spesh my hair...it's obscene]. So I reckon a shower is totes in mah future for todayz!!

Kay well I'll update more l8rz but I'm tired now and kinda thirsty...

Hopin' she don't relapse,
Bee Electric

Things that Rock...

about having one of your sisters be a teacher at your school:

*You get free coffee from the supes secret teacher stash
*You can skip Latin and drink said coffee and chillax with her class
*Slightly increased computer lab access!!

Imma is awesome.

Something else that rocks:
Lookit my cute message from CJ [FredFlare]!

Hi Beez,

OMG, our trip to Costa Rica was totes amazingness!!! I didn't want to
leave, but it is good to be home! And thanks for all your comments. We
all live for them!!! I'm so happy that you had fun in Paris and I'm
thrilled that our podcast/diary on Paris helped you out! Pls say "hi"
to Ciao Italia for me... I LOVE it there too and pls keep the comments
a-flowin'! xxoo, Chris

Beez is my new nick, innit?

Pretending to be British,
Beez Electric

Doggie Tagz

I just realized that the "tags" feature of Blogger is AWESOME. So now [not now now, now as in sometime after thissecond] I'm gonna go back and tag all my entries. So's you can be like "I wanna read everything Bee's written about Kafka [fer example]" and jess clickify yer way there!! HAUSOME!

Taggin' like a mortuary,
Bee Electric

Po-ta-toes, Roast 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a deep fryer...

The partay was pretty funzZz!! Whilst there I ate two of Italia's greatest inventions: Pizza with french fries and hot dogs on it, and deep fried mashed potatoes! I bet they don't even have that in Arkansas! Funny thing, though...I was eatin' the pizza, and the taste of the wieners made me think of eatin' macaroni and cheese with hot dogs in it [kind of the best thing...ever...] and that made me think of that one American Girl issue that had all the craaazy pizza toppinz, and one of them was mac'n'cheese. So I was sitting there at the table and they were all talkin' about god knows what, and I was thinkin' to myself, 'American Girl is a darn good magazine.' Yay for me!

In my last entry [I think] I briefly mentioned the Flare's trip to Costa Rica...you can check out more about it, as well as see pix, here.

Tomoz should be pretty fun...we're goin' to school, as I mentioned, and that means hijinks as usual...::rolls eyes:: But now, in light of my recent decision to sleep more, and the fact that I am hecks of tired, I'm gonna comment on CJ's blog, do a few more internetz things, the go to bed. 10 points for the Beester!

Hopin' for sweet dreams,
Bee Electric

Sleepin' is Where It's At

Hi Kidz!

I have decided that I'm going to start going to bed earlier. Because I think it's a bad thing when you sleep until 12.30 and only get six hours of sleep. And that's the most sleep you've gotten all week. Especially 'cause I'm tired all the time and most of what I do online between the hours of 2-4 is be frustrated 'cause no one else is online. Or get really angry, like last night...that was weird. o.O

Today I actually didn't do ballet, as [a] I didn't have my stuff with me, and [b] they were just practicing pas de deux stuffs. I did do "Moderna" which is not the Modern Dance crap you're thinking of...more like hip hop. It was fun, but I kind of pretty much sucked 'cause I haven't done much dancing in MONTHS. I was all stiff and looked totes the kid that just sits in front of the computer all day [represent!] admist all these ballerinas. 'Specially 'cause I was wearing pretty much all boys clothes [Conz, boxershorts, my gym pants from Targ, and my 21deadmonkeys tshirt] 'cept for my socks [pink polka dotted] and my bra. WHATEVER it was fun!!

Also- what is up with girls hanging up all the tags from their clothes? It is like a world wide habit, seriously. I don't get it! Sure sometimes I'll save a tag if it is cool lookin', but I know girls in the US and here that, like, hang 'em off the bulletin board or wall or something...all of them. I don't understand! Hmm. Maybe I'm not a real girl. I'm an octopus.

Well, gots to go to a birthday party...I don't really want to, as I am pretty tired [see above], but hopefully it won't go too late, as we have school 2moz. For the first time in days. I'm gonna wear my pretty blue shirt that my mommy gave me, my All My Base tee, and my black skirt...Rockin'!

With her cheek on the keyboard,
Bee Electric

PS I am totes besties with Keith and Chris from Fred Flare, OMG. I had left a comment on the blog [like usual] and K totally emailed me back and asked about how Paris was. And then when I left another one on their post about their Costa Rica vacay, I got this from Keith: "YUR SO SWEET, MS. BEE!!!! Thanks!" It makes my day every time they comment me back. Hopefully they will remember how much they love me when I apply for a job...

"Brat" and "Blog" both start with "Bee"

Things that I am sick of:
*Time differences
*Not having any money on my phone card
*Missing friends' birthdays
*Not being in California
*Insomnia
*Being too poor to purchase everything in Fred Flare's stock
*Having nothing productive [outside of English essays] to do with my time
*Lacking the motivation to reply to emails that I really ought to
*Not being famous
*Wanting to be really a totes tw*t to people not, because I'm too polite
*Not having a SuicideGirls account
*The snow-less cold
*Black hair
*Blogger being an arsefase and not letting me post

Yah yah I am so greatful for having the chance to have this amazing experience and be in Italy and blah blah blah but shutup, whatever, I'm wallowing. Go slam yer head against a brick wall. I'm gonna have another drink.

Trying to sleep,
Bee Electric

Electric Obsession: Lily Allen

I don't know if I've talked about this before [I'm a totes dumbarse if I haven't...], but HOLY CARP I love Lily Allen!!! If you don't know who she is, she is this SUPES AWESOME British Pop Gal...I've been in HEART with her for ages and I can't believe that her album hasn't even been released in the U.S. yet... -wow- But you can pre-order it here!! And plz order me a copy too [the original version] 'cause it's only 10 bucks and I want the autographed poster! Kthnx.


Lookit the album innit cute??


This song has been pretty much on constant repeat in my eyepod for MONTHS....and the vid is even better!!


And this one is pretty hausome too...

But as much as I like Lilz, Parz will always hold a spesh place in my heart...


Poppin' like corn,
Bee Electric

P.S. If you can't view the vids, GET FASTER INTERNET. [hahaha I can be all elite and arrogant now 'cause I've got DSL! Rockin'.]
P.P.S. Mommy [or anyone else]...you can get that Marie Antoinette book here [Amazon] for about $13 cheaper than Powellz...don't ask me why it didn't show up on my other search...

Leggo my Eggo!

Soz Kidz it's gonna be a few more days before you get to see any pixXx of Parz...I just figured out that my RW discs ehn't actually RW...and I don't want to be burning [haha] through my DVDz/CDz like mad uploadin' 10 pics at a time...soonish, though!! [Momzin and Daddy this is your cue to send me more burnable media in the next package! Kthnx]

But to kind of tide you over, isn't this cute?

[clickable]

And come on, you know they're delicious:


Madly in love with Fred Flare [like always],
Bee Electric

German cinema is the SHIZNIT. And often terrifying.

Good golly goshness it is chillster up in heah! [Heah being my room at the moment]. The heater's on but I think that Vale is absorbing most of the heat directly into her body...thanks, hun!

So I've been working on the Paris pics...they are turning out pretty good so far, I reckon. I mean, considering my mediocre photography skillzZz. I should have the 1st batch up tonight, that is, if I can figure out how to re-burn a DVD. We shall see...

Wow, I just had the worst time answering my cellphone, omigod. It went off, and I was like, hey, that's my cellphone! It wasn't in my pocket like it usually is, so I started digging through my school bag, looking for it, and I couldn't find it and couldn't find it. Then I realised that the noise was coming from my jew-bean-oh, and lo and behold, it was in the pocket. Yay for super stealthy traXter skillz!

I go my ICO today. I reckon it is a pretty good issue. There was an article about the volunteer help with cleaning up the theater which was pretty rad...I'm supes sorry I had to miss out on that! 'Cause we all know how much I love cleanin' up shizZz that ehn't mine. [Note: I am not being sarcastic here.] 10 points for California the country being #6 as far as top world economies! And seriously what is up with being able to open our mail, Prez? Someone needs to get ahold of that kid, he is out of control. Why the heck why don't you just make us all write post cards, that way you can save time and energy [and cut the State Letter-opener budget and give more tax cuts to the rich]? Oh shoot I best not say that...they'll probably do it!!

Speaking of Ameriker goin' to heck in a saddlebag, I was trying to explain the American Health Care system etc to my sister, her husband, and my mom. It was really hard!! [a] 'cause I don't entirely understand it myself, and [b] I had to do it in Italian. I think I got the point across, though, that is is dang broke and don't help nearly no one!

-whatevz-

Oh yeah, another thing that the paper reminded me of is that I'm missing Berlin and Beyond this year! What the heck is up with that????

Blowing her nose on a 3 dollah bill,
Bee Electric

Braidy Bee

Since nothing, you know, interesting is happening in my life right now, I'll have to inform you on the oh-so-exciting fact that my hair is now long enough to french braid!! I had nothing else to do with my hands when I was at Imma's tonight watching RIS [rah rah rah!] so I was putzing around with my hair, and it braided up quite nicely!! I am quite keen on this, and will debut it at school tomoz. You'd best watch yerself, Maddz...Bee Electric's gettin' her braid on. Oh snap.

In other news, I discovered this book in a charmingly lovely little English bookshore [that is a combo store and shop. yah, I know you're amazed] in Paris, but, unfortunatly, did not have the cash to purchase it at the time. I would have also had to port it about in the rain for several hours. So you should buy it for me. Pretty please?

One thing that is quite odd, in my opinion, is that tonight, whilst my hair was being quite French, I kept having the feeling that I had brown hair. Not that I actually thought that it had magically turned brown or something, but I just had the sensation of being a brunette, and when I imagined my hair it showed up brown in my brain. Starnge!

Oh noes! My eyepod is about to run out of battery!!

Searching for the right cord,
Bee Electric

P.S. I ran across this and this whilst on the search for the book mentioned earlier. Any (or all) of the items mentioned in this post would make me quite a happy little Bee.

Insignificant.

You should go here and check it out. [no, it's not more stuff for you to buy] Just check out Miss Katie Owens' (a.k.a. the epidemic) work sharin' webspace with a portrait of bEe Jellyfish. If that ehn't super-stardom I don't know what is. If you want to check out K's own website it is here. You should go there...she is amazing...

Feeling so small,
Bee Electric

P.S. The title of this post refers to me, not Katie Anne.

Shameless Gimme-ism

Ferris Bueller might not like it, but this is one ism that I am a proud proponent of. And propeller of.

You should buy me this and this, otherwise my head just may explode. [That is the Snakes on a Plane and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest DVDs for your information...I was gonna have snazz-o-licious clickable pictures, but I forgot that Windows hates my face.]

Honorary Member of MFAGG,
Bee Electric

Let them eat gigabytes.

My hair. Is in such a horrendous state right now...you have no idea. I haven't done ANYTHING with it since I put it up...yesterday night. So it is still a matted, hairsprayed mess. Only now all squished and retarded looking. -whatever- I have rotation tomorrow...I'll deal with it then.

I am downloading Marie Antoinette!! In English!! I sure hope there is room for it on this computer... I'll burn it off tomorrow.

OHYEAH I should have frenchy pixXx to post soon!! Yay for Paris!

I have a new favourite TV show. It is called RTI or something and I guess it is like CSI. That's what I hear, at least. I've never seen CSI. But RTI is super rad with detective work madness and dead peeps and whatnot! Yay for television!

Putting on her lab coat,
Bee Electric

OMJ it's Bee! Wow...

Well for some reason the other photos didn't transfer well, but here's one of what I looked like pre-festa. Clickit for a slightly bigger version.

I'm gonna go to bed now.

Dreaming already,
Bee Electric

Small Town seeks Non Lame Website

I was looking at the Gualala website just now, and I have to admit that my first thought was not "Oh, Gualala, how I miss thee," but "Golly Gee this website sucks." Sorry, kids, but sometimes the truth hurts. Like when someone puts broken glass in your Cheerios. It's all good until you start bleeding from the mouth, esophogus, and upper intestine. OK, I officially have no idea what I'm talking about now.

I think I'm going to go write a story and wait for my parents too call me. Instead of replying to the 10000435 emails that I really ought to. Or, you know, sleeping. Only tools sleep. And I am not a tool. Shut up, Daniel.

Contemplating crackers with a wistful smile,
Bee Electric

P.S. I was sitting outside waiting for MJ to ring, 'cause I'm going to go outside to talk to my parents so's I don't wake up my mom and Valeria, but it was WAY TOO COLD to just sit there holding my cellular telephone in one hand and my eyepod in the other. So I came inside. Mom, if you're reading this, plz callify me!

Yet another thing I don't understand...

The festa was awesometastic! It was at this crazy Old West themed disco [they heart the Old West here...rockin'!] that was built to look like stuccoed adobe, with those Spanish tiled [or whatever you call it] roofs and this one section that so looked like a movie set from a Western. When we got there, we didn't really go inside, just sat in the nice chilly night air for a while...that was kind of less than interesting. When we did finally go inside, though, I had the best time!! There was dancing and whatnot, and it was actually decent disco fun! I once again proved how inept I am at that sort of dancing...I do better in a slam dancin' atmosphere like last night...not this silly disco whatnot. Whatevz, it was still grand! But then I had to go outside with Vale etc and sit around in the chill again...and then we went home. Huh?

That's what I don't understand. It seems like Italians [or at least the ones I know] seem to get the most pleasure out of being miserable whilst other people are having fun, then have fun for a little bit, then leave! Not my cuppa. I like to have fun while other people are having fun...or have fun while other people are being miserable...and not leave! Or, if I do have to leave early, I sure as heck am not going to waste one second of potential fun time. I guess theoretically I could have gone inside before and stayed inside, but, as everysingleperson who I knew was outside, I felt mad awkward inside by myself. I was quite disappointed that we left when we did, though, especially 'cause there was this super cute guy who I was ch-ch-checkin' out, and we know how few of those there are in Maddz.

On the way home we stopped at this lil' rossticceria [guess who doesn't know how to spell that! MEEEE!] to get some grub. I wasn't particularly hungry but I got a piece of calzone that had french fries and weenies in it. It was pretty good [better than their pizza...which tastes like greasy barf] but I couldn't finish it. And now I feel a bit sick. Which I'm sure is one piece of information you were just dying to know.

I have no idea what the heck I am going to do with my hair tomorrow...not sure if there's anything I can do, as I back-combed and hair-sprayed the heck out of it! It is now in a rather rad pompadourish thing. And may continue to be into the next century. o.O But, dude, I dressy dressed up for the party all snazzy like! My striped pink tights, poufy black dress, my hair...heaps black eyeliner with lil' wingy bits, DIY jewellry...[pictures to follow]. I didn't exactly blend in with the crowd, but, as I'm sure we all know by now "blending in with the crowd" is something that I SUCK ROYALLY at. So whatevz! I also wore my Conz, but, judging by the footwear sported by the rest of the ladies, I should have worn pointy toed high heels. Except wait, I haven't got any. I guess I fail at being italian. Vabbè.

Hittin' the nail with the MC Hammer,
Bee Electric

Things that get 10 points

*Boys who fix broken computers!! I went out with the E|X crowd last night, and when I came back, the computer was all fixed up by a very nice young man with a wallet full of CDs! It is quite rad-o-licous, as I can now go on the internet. Which, as we all know, is essential to the existence of this lil' electronic rockstar.

*Moshing! Last night, after Gina left, Valeria, Anto, and the whole crowd went to this...I don't even know what to call it...gathering? This empty building, where a band played American [yay for songs I know!] and Italian [still cool but I didn't know the words!] punk/metal/reggae tunes! I guess that is where all the "alternative" types in Maddaloni convene [which was about, oh, 30, tops, but still more than I thought there were!] to chillax and jump around like someone cocained their dougnuts! Thing is, they didn't exactly start playing until late...after 11...so we wandered around quite a bit, and I had a wikked stomach ache. I think it was because I ate a bunch of candy bars at school [mistake!], too much lunch, and then gelato [even though I didn't want to...I was forced] when I was out with the E|Xies. We stopped to get food at a food truck, and I didn't buy anything [since I knew it would make my tummy hurt more] but it looked soooo good, and when Vale couldn't finish her sammy [which had weenies and french fries in it] I did...I knew that wasn't a good idea, and, as predicted, the pain in my gut was turned up a couple of notches. -whatever-, at least it was tasty! And, whilst hanging about by the food truck, I applied my black lipstick [for the first time in MONTHS], utilizing the grime covered side mirror. So punk rock! When we finally got back to the place, they were finally getting around to playing. Super rad! I had tons of fun jumping about, and there was this one rad kid, who has a sidehawk and was wearing the same striped dress I always see him in, 'cept for tonight he mixed it up and added tights [under shorts..durrrr], that was running around and slamming into folk! Jest fine with me, and I slammed him [and some other lads and ladies] back more'n a few times. Unfortunatly, we had to be back at midnight, which gave me, oh, about 10 minutes of mosh time, but golly, it was the best slam dancin' 10 minutes I've had in a while!! Hausome! On our way back home, though, Valeria told me that if you wear black lipstick people think you're a prostitute. Thanks for the forewarning, babe! But then she said that tonight it was OK, 'cause we were with "dark people", and they understand. It's all good, then, and I wasn't planning on just parading down the street in it like I do at home, anyways.

*Orlando's birthday! The future Mr. Electric turned 30 yesterday! -holy shizmuffins- That sounds so old!! But then again I'm 17 and that still sounds odd to me. Woot woot gettin' married in 5 years! My god...5 years ehn't much, is it? Good thing I've already started planning...

*Paris Hilton, The Like, Lily Allen, and Madonna! Parz, Likez [?], Lilz, and Madz are my new! downloaded! music! on Vale's computer...and thusly ROCK THE HOUSE. When we are not listening to Valeria's metal and whatnot. Which is not too often o.O. But I think I'm gonna burn 'em off some time soon, then I can listen to them all the time.

*Fan fiction! I'm back on my ff boardz...which means that life is getting back to its normal, abnormal state! I heart Elijah Wood...and my lil digital palz!

Well, that is all the 10 pterz I can think of for now! At least that have something to do with yesterday.

Gina left on her whirlwind tour of Europa yesterday...her mum came down and we tooled around Maddz for a while...it was quite fun! But I'll write more about that later, as I gots to go get ready for a festa at a discoteca. Oh snaps. And a half.

Making faces in the mirror,
Bee Electric

P.S. I think we're being bombed. I'd be concerned but Madz and Britterz are singing to me so I just can't be.

Che cazzo?

Gah! One thing you get used to with Mac computers is that they don't get effin' viruses all the time! That and they don't get messed up as much. So yeh, our computer at home is all wonkified! At first we thought it was 'cause the plug got pulled (my mom didn't know how to turn it off...I had left it on to download -oops-), but it quickly became apparent that that wasn't the problem. What it was doing was starting up, displaying an error notification window, and then, after a few minutes, restarting. Not very nice of it!! We thought that maybe it was a virus, but a Virus check scan of the computer came up with "no threats found". Okay. Then I tried clicking the "send error report" or whatever button (up until then we had been clicking "non inviare"), and it took me to the Windows page, where it said that there was a Stop Interrupt Error in the Video drive or something, and the best way to fix it was to download the most up to date drivers. So I tried that, but I think it wouldn't let me (stupid punks, putting their page in Italian), 'cause the version of Windows isn't authentic. Fuuuuuudge. After doing some more reasearch online today, I have pretty much found that the only way to fix it is the thing I can't do. CAN ANYBODY HELPIFY ME?? We might have to take it in to get fixed, but hopefully doing that will not require reformattation...the only thing that I have on there is some music or whatever so's it's not that big of a deal for me, but Vale's got all her files and what not. AND MY PUTRID BROTHER DID NOT PICK UP HIS PHONE FOR LIKE 7 HOURS SO HE COULDN'T HELP ME!! Thanks a million, bro. Oh, btw, the error code we kept getting is "STOP 0x0000008E". Grrrrah.

The (kind of) upside of not having a working, internet-enabled computer in my room is I actually went to bed at a (semi)reasonable hour last night! But when I did go to bed I had the strangest dream...I don't remember the beginning, but where my memory starts I had signed up for the Army. I don't know whether I was 18 or whether they just took me when I was 17, but it doesn't matter. I had to take the school bus to my army base, but first I was going to Mendocino to pick up my camera, which was in my locker. Before we left my mom reminded me to bring some reading material, and what I picked up was this brochure about a type of Mulino Bianco [a Barilla sub-brand that makes cookies and bread and other baked goods] cookies. We were driving along, and I was reading or something, not paying attention. Then we start to stop, but not in a normal way for a bus. The engine shut off but we kept moving forward, and kind of bobbing. I realised that we were floating. What the? That's not how you get to Mendocino! When we pulled up onto the beach and got out, my confustion only increased. Instead of being on, like, Big River beach or something, we were on this almost tropical looking Island. I say almost because there were white sand beaches, but the trees were closer to pines or redwoods than palm. One thing that definitely impressed me, though, was how saturated with colour the place was, like a travel brocure. The ocean was this incredibly deep turquoise aqua, and the trees were impossibly green. I soon came to realize, however, that everything was coated with a thin layer of ice. Not frozen into place, like some sort of deranged Snow Queen palace effect, but that kind of melty ice that you get in California. So was the sand, but not completely. I asked someone what was going on, and they were like, "maybe they want you to start your training here...as a suprise. Some sort of survival thing or something?" And that started freaking me out, 'cause was like, "NO! I have to get my camera!!" And then I "remembered" that we were going to stop at the Port of Versailles on the way, and this must be it. Note: Port of Versailles is where we stayed in Paris, and is nothing like the scene discribed above. Never the less, this calmed me down, as we were where we were supposed to be. Since the whole place was so icy, but looked so warm, I wondered what the water would be like, So I kneeled on the sand and put my arms in it. It wasn't too cold, but then my heavy backpack pushed me down and I started to slide, headfirst into the water!! That was scary! However, I was able to wrestle myself up again. Then the whole reality of signing up for the Army hit me, and I started major panicking. I couldn't shoot people!! Holy cow! What was I thinking?!?!?!?! Before I got too freaked out though, my cellphone went off [in real life] and woke me up. It was weird!!!

OK, gots to go to class now!

Not a soldier,
Bee Electric

Chimney sweeps and cookie freaks

My stomach hurts...I think I ate too many cookies. And too many french fries. Speaking of french fries, we are going to Macker's tomoz! Can you say "Double cheeseburger for 1,30euro"? I can. With my eyes closed.

Did you know that in the Italian version of Mary Poppins, the songs are in Italian, too?

MKay I'm going to sleep now.

Corrupting the children,
Bee Electric

Yay for doppia rotazione!!

I am so tired I could keel over.

In other news, we had pasta with tuna for lunch. It was delicious.

Dear God I hope I don't have to do ballet today. Maybe I won't cause I [a] ehn't really signed up and [b] I still pretty much have a wikked cold. Yay for being sick! Or not...

Coughing up phlegm and blowing her nose,
Bee Electric

Man...

I am so sick of having black hair!! I have had it for, like....6 months or something! A.K.A. FAR TOO LONG. Only I'm kind of scared to change it, 'cause pretty much all Italian faux-blonde hair looks like crap on a stick!! But maybe mine would work? Grrr I don't know what to do....

Part of my reason for this is I came across this picture...I forgot I used to look like this....


Contemplating the possibilites,
Bee Electric

This should come as no suprise

You can now also reach me at bee.electric@rock.com . Because I do.

Eating 80s candy in the dark,
Bee Electric

I'm a horrible Journalist

I just realised that y'all never hear a damn thing about my best times, 'cause I always want to write really long detailed entries but never seem to finish & post 'em. Sorry. So here's a quick run down of things I don't think I wrote about:

The Rome Trip
*3 cups of overpriced coffee
*Learning to swear in Serbian
*Wanting to move to this Beautiful city
*Paris on Paris Vogue
*Being in Heart with Alex
*Scamming folks for cute pictures.

Christmas Eve
*So many courses I think I'll die
*Hanging out with the kids...my knees hurt now
*I miss my real Christmas
*Staying up 'till 7am playing poker with my brother's friends
*Long distance "Night Before Christmas" reading with the fam

Christmas
*No church
*Sobbing my guts out over Brokeback Mountain
*Watching King Kong with wired blonde kids
*Lots of lasagna and so many other foods
*Playstation Soccer and Old West themed restaurants

Paris
*Too long of a train ride
*Having to switch seats 'cause people suck
*Watching Hostel on Franco's computer
*Cute Australians with crazy accents
*An even longer bus ride through what looks like home
*Faking an accent until I forget how I talk
*"You're not a girl. You're just a boy with really long hair."
*AutoGrills
*Pretending I'm French
*Sleeping in my Clothes
*Meeting a girl from the Yucatan
*Being the only sober one
*Pizza in Paris?
*"I love you!"
*Finally stylish again
*So much rain
*Eating pastries from Laudrée
*"You have to be 18"
*Can't find the Champs Elysées
*English bookstores and the Virgin Suicides
*Spending money
*Chanel sunglasses
*The Eiffel Tower sparkiling
*Major foot pain
*Being in Colette
*"Foto! Foto!"
*The Mona Lisa people crunch
*The best smelling street in the world
*Finding my journal for sale
*Calling my parents at 4 in the morning
*Samuel L. Jackson in French
*Asking directions
*Finnish girls
*Libian food
*Evian water
*Vogue
*Staying up all night
*Packing at 3am
*Slipping and bruising on the Eiffel Tower
*Watching everyone sleep on the bus ride home
*Making snow angels in the Alps wearing a summer dress
*Bacon Royals and Coca Cola Light
*Saying goodbye
*Dragging my suitcase and almost crying
*Sleeping sick on the train back to Napoli
*Hello new family



Yep.

Wishing for some maple syrup,
Bee Electric

Si Provi, a Prendermi...

I watched this movie in Italian today. It was pretty awesome...I like Leonardo diCaprio!

In other news, my sinuses are all plugged up and I had chocolate mousse gelato earlier.

School starts tomorrow! Boy howdy!!

It's weird, living this close to other people. I'm used to my room being upstairs and away from everyone, but at the other end of a short hall is my mom and sister, and we share the two bathrooms. Strange!!

10 points for being all unpacked!

Prodding her face,
Bee Electric

I wish that I had written these.

Because they are genius.

* * *

"Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master."

"His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free."

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

"She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up."

"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

"The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM."

"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."

"McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup."

"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30."

"Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze."

"The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."

"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."

"They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth."

"He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something."

"He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River."

"Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut."

"Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do."

"The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work."

"The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while."

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."

"The ballerina raised gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant."

"It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools."

"He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up."

"Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser."

"She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs."

"It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall."

Returned to Sender

Hey Kids...

I'm back from Paris...It was kind of the most amazing thing EVER. The Eiffel Tower sparkiling was an electronic mindblowing thing of DOOM...so much that I got a briuse from it....I am probably the only person that can say that I got bruised by the Eiffel Tower...F£$" yeah!!...I can't wait to tell you about all my adventures and misadventures and glorious decadence...but for now I gots to go be all Italiany...which at this point in time means REALLY CHILLY. But it is allright 'cause I have hobo gloves and a whole lotta love. ::chuckles:: Those just sound good together, don't they?

Still shaking with excitement,
Bee Electric