giovedì, marzo 22, 2007

How do you say good-bye?

Today was my last day at the ole Liceo Scientifico in Maddz...it was weird. I was only there for 2 hours, then was outta there [as I am takin' the Rome train in a couple of hours]. It was hard to say goodbye to Vale again, and then to Pina and the other kids in my class. Because of the schedule I was on I didn't really get to see Dani, Gra, Gianni, Andrè, or any of my other friends. I guess that gives me all the more reason to come back to visit!! I got a letter from the Preside Principal dude that said that I attended school there for six months blah blah blah, but I think I am going to try to talk my way into at least some history and philosophy credits when I get back to California. The Prez must like me, though, 'cause he was all "Bye bye come back to visit!" And when I said I would, he asked "sure?" How rad.

M'kay I'm gonna go comment the FF blog some more. Then, you know, go to Rome. Let's see if I can survive for 4 days or whatever without StrongBad. This izZz gonna be difficult.

Arrivaderci, fooz!
Roamin' her way to Rome like MK&A,
Bee Electric

mercoledì, marzo 21, 2007

Skippydy doo dah skippity day

Hey Kidz!

So I am settling in at the new place...the family is really nice and I am having a good time. I still kinda want to go home, though, but I know that I'm not going to, and that by the time I got it together it would be too late.

I think the problem is that I am just kind of over this whole exchange student thing. Burnt out. It doesn't help that my internet time is limited and crap, and when I am online I can't get everything done [email, blog reading/commenting, updatin' here, facebookin', myspacin'] that I need to, not to mention I am going without my podcasts and intarwub radio. Dang it!

Vabbè. Yesterday we bought a jar of Skippy peanut butter. Life isn't all bad.

I really should go finish packing for Rome as Giuseppina's going to come pick me up in a couple of hours to go back to Maddz. Tomorrow I'm going to school to say bye to everyone and then take the train to Rome. Dammit I rlly hope that my stupid package shows up in time!! I don't so much need the bag anymore right now [as my host mom is lending me one] but apparently there is heaps other stuff in there, too. And I am planning on taking the train home to Aversa instead of Maddz, 'cause that is closer so my mom can pick me up.

I also need to finish my SEP application. Maybe I'll call my Momz tonight if I have time to see if I can come up with more extracurriculars and volunteer bits. WHY AM I SO BOOOOOOOOOOOORING??

I'm not bringing my computer with me to Rome because we are staying in a hostel, I think [just watch, it'll be locky-type rooms and free WiFi, I bet] and I don't want it to get stolenerized. That does mean that I won't be able to dump off my photos at the end of each day and that I won't be able to charge Veronica. Craaaaaaaaaaap.

OK I'm going to finish packing and then sleep for a few ages. Or eat some peanut butter.

Ketch ya later,
Bee Electric

domenica, marzo 18, 2007

Not the longest post

Moved. Not much internet access. Cried more in the last week than I had in months. Thinking about going home.

Hating having to choose,
Bee Electric

giovedì, marzo 15, 2007

What I Want.

You know what I want? I want my real parents to call me. I want my real parents to call me and tell me that it is going to be OK. That I can come home. That they still love me. I want them to tell me these things and for it to be the truth.

OK I am really crying now...
Bee Electric

Suffocation

I am tired and worn out even though I slept for 8 1/2 hours last night. My eyes hurt from crying. Today after lunch I have to pack because in 4 and one half hours I am going to Giuseppina's house to live for I don't know how long. I don't really know what is going on more than ever and I hate this.

Everyone is still all pushing the blame around and I don't know who to believe anymore. I think that is is my fault for being messed up but also kind of my host family's fault for not telling me there were problems until yesterday, and also partly the organization's fault because they handled this so poorly. As my host family has said, they were just interested in making themselves not look bad. All they cared about was me telling my mom that all this crap that was not even that big of a deal was this huge thing and was all my fault and my host family's fault. They don't care that it was them that did not tell me or my parents in California that this family only signed up for 3 months. They don't care about anything besides having people think that they are doing an OK job.

I am just so frucking frustrated right now...I did not come to Italy to have to deal with this crap. If I wanted to feel this upset and whatnot, I could have just stayed home. I almost want to go home because 3 months+ is starting to look like a hell of a long time. But then I don't think that my [real] parents really want to have anything to do with me anymore.

I can't believe that I am having so many problems and that I have been kicked out by TWO host families. I mean, I didn't think that I was that messed up. Jesus...It's not like I haven't been trying. Maybe I'm just incapable of living in any sort of familial situation........................

I was not expecting that letter to cause this many problems. No, not all of these are because of it but seriously. This backlash is kind of why I was scared to say anything myself. Maybe if she hadn't sent it to Patrizia it wouldn't have been as bad. Or if I just stuck it through and didn't say anything until I was back in the States and these people did not have control of my life anymore.

Dear god, yesterday was awful. I was sitting there, studying for history, and then Miano and Giuseppina came and then there were Imma and my host mom and Valeria all there and everything was being thrown in my face and I was crying and didn't know what to do and felt very very alone especially because these were people who I had thought were OK with me and it's hard when they are suddenly yelling all the things that you had [unknowingly] messed up on. And then I had to write this stupid letter filled with lies to my mother and of course all the B3C people so that they could feel better about themselves and it wasn't even like it was my views or from my point of view because Giuseppina and Miano and everyone were there staring over my shoulder pretty much telling me what to write. When I had finally finished, I thought, Giuseppina made me add more specifically saying that it wasn't her fault.

I tried to avoid blaming the family specifically in the letter because I don't think that it is entirely their fault but the B3C people were pushing me in that direction. And then afterword Vale read the letter [I said she could] and she read it to her mother and now I don't know what they think of me.

It seems like everyone is alternating between blaming and telling me what I've done wrong to telling me to not be sad and that everything's OK and that they're sorry and it's not against me personally.

I. Don't. Know. anymore. I wish that Franco was back from London so I'd have someone to talk to at Giuseppina's. Tonight is Pascale's [E|Xer from Canada] birthday, plus the six month anniversary. I hope that I can go, after I go to Giuseppina's. I need something to cheer me up, plus I've missed the last 2 or three anniversaries.

I seriously do want to go home now. I don't care if it means that I've failed at this, it looks pretty much like I have done that anyways. I just don't even know if my [real] parents will even speak to me again. Not having a family anywhere sucks because there's no one to make you feel better when you're crying. Maybe tonight I'll call my brother. Or Hanna. I hate feeling so alone.

Speaking of crying I'm going to go to the bathroom now because I don't want to cry in the computer lab. I also kind of have to pee.

Looking for escape,
Bee Electric

mercoledì, marzo 14, 2007

Today Was the Worst Day

My host family are blaming the organization, the organization is blaming my host family, I know it's my fault 'cause I'm just too f*cked up to function properly.

I even more so don't know what to think but I do know that today I cried a lot, I was forced to write an insincere letter while Giuseppina and Miano literally watched me typle, and tomorrow at 5pm I am moving to Giuseppina's house.



I hate my life.



More upset than ever,
Bee Electric

Frustrated and Unmotivated



I don't want to deal with this moving crap. I want my computer to be OK. I want my cough to go away. I want to see my best friend again. I want to be thin. I want to be blonde. I want my life to be OK again.


Meh,
Bee Electric

An Open Letter To The Son of God

If you are overly religious you might not want to read this, as it may [unintentionally] offend.

Dear Jesus,
How ya been, buddy? IzZz been a while since we had a proper chat...Soz about that. I have been pretty busy-ish...prolly committin' a thousand sins that I don't know about. Hey, I can't help it.

Easter is coming up, and scuse me if I'm wrong but I reckon a lot more peeps (sorry, seasonal pun I had to make) are gonna be thinkin' about chocklit an' painted eggz more than you risin' from the grave and all. That must suck, what with your birthday and your resurrection turnin' into such huge holidays that are movin' farther and farther away from havin' to do with you. But hey, at least people are happy during them! I, for one, will be sinking into a deep depression resulting from the obscene amount of creme eggs that I will not be consuming. Dang. I guess this is what I get for failin' so hardcore at Lent this year. Murr.

You know, I was thinkin' about it, and I realized that I know the day you were born [or at least the day we celebrate it...I'm less sure about the actual day. Nine months from La Immacolata is 8 Sept but that doesn't sound right...hmmm] and the day you were resurrected [Easter, that's easy], but not the day you died. If you rose on the 3rd day, I guess that means the Friday before Easter. At least if you were buried on the same day that you died. Do you reckon Wikipedia knows? I'm always scared to ask religious types 'cause they might think I'm bein' blasphemous or sacreligious on purpose, but I'm not. Just curious.

Well anyways, have a good Wednesday and eat a creme egg or two for me. I'm assumin' they have 'em in Heaven...though I reckon if you wanted one bad enough your dad could work somethin' out.

TTYL
xoxo your pal,
Bee Electric

P.S. D'you think you could make sure the disc drive on StrongBad isn't broken? It's makin' scary noises and I'm really stressed and worried about it, especially because I don't think I could get it fixed until I go home. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! My stress level is already through the roof 'cause of this movin' crap. Thanks JC you're the BESTEST. xB

martedì, marzo 13, 2007

Secession of the Blogerization Nation

OK so I'm not ezacktly seceding but I haven't really been in a bloggeratin' mood lately....sozfish....

There are a couple things that are new, though:

*I am not actually allergic to Amoxacillian, bringing my allergy total to ZERO.
*I bought a box of Corn Flakes for snackin' on.
*I am gonna be moving at the end of the month and I am really frustrated and sick of dealing with all this CRAP.
*I wanna get my lip pierced.
*My cough is going away.


Praisin' the Lord like Christina Ricci's dog,
Bee Electric

domenica, marzo 11, 2007

mercoledì, marzo 07, 2007

So far away...doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore...

Yuck...I am feeling pretty wretched today...I few days ago I had a bit of a sore throat which has since developed into a full fledged, body wrackin', phlegm bubblin' hack of a cough. It feels as bad as it sounds and it sounds awful! My lungs hurt... D:

+ + +

The other night I had the strangest dream. I don't remember the whole thing, but I was on a bicycle trip with some friends [strange as I do not bicycle] and we stopped for a bit. I went and got a drink somewhere [like a bar or something] which is also strange as I do not drink. For some reason that one drink [maybe I had more without realising?] got me incredibly drunk, so that the room started spinning and whatnot and I had difficulties standing. All this time I am trying to will myself sober because, you know, I had to bicycle! My friends came and were like, "Are you drunk??" and my answer, of course, was "No! I'm not drunk!" and started trying to be sober even harder, but it wasn't working. And then I dropped my Chanel sunglasses [don't ask me why I was holding them] on the pavement, and they got really scratched. This caused me to start freaking out about that because I couldn't fix it and I was hyperventilating because I had two problems: I was so sloshed I could hardly stand up and I needed to bicycle, and my Chanel sunnies were ruined. I woke up going, 'That was weird and then went about my day.

+ + +

Tonight is Dani's birthday party! I'm gonna take the bus down to SMaV this evening at 5 o'clock. This will be the first time I'll see my first family [besides Dani] or even be in SMaV since I moved! In December! I wonder if it'll be kind of awkward because now I know that they hate me. But I don't know if they know I know. -Whatever- It is gonna be a party...in the garage, probably...it's not like I am going to have to just sit there for hours and be uncomfortable!

I had noooo idea what to get Dani [and Grazia...I missed her birthday in Feb] and so I ended up settling on these My Little Pony shower soap things [they are shaped like My Little Ponys but you pull off the head and it's a bottle of shower soap...snazzy!] and glitter heart headbands. I don't really have anything to wrap them in but whatever...I hope that they at least pretend to like them!!

+ + +

Maybe not tonight [because I am going to be gone] but soon I have to call Giuseppina and see what the huck is up with my future family situation. Up until today the most information I have had is Vale saying that I maybe probably will have to move because she is going to have to study mad hard for the big college test [which is after school gets out]. So I have been hoping I get to stay but was figuring on moving maybe mid to late May, even though that would give me not too much time wherever I end up.

However, today I was talking to Prof. Miano, and she asked me when I was moving to my new host family in Napoli. If I was a cartoon character this is when the huge question marks would start popping up over my head. "At the end of this month?" she asked. Cue eyeballs boinging and brain fizzing. Keeping a [somewhat] calm manner, I responded that I had not heard anything official from anyone, not Giuseppina, not anyone from B3C in Milan or ASS3 in the US, about changing families, that all I knew is that I might at some point.

So yeah, I fer sure need to talk to Giuseppina and see what I can find out. I don't want to move!!! I am soooo happy with this family, and even if I do have to leave them I don't want to move to Napoli! Though yes, it has loads to recommend it [actual city, vicinity to ocean, real birthplace of the pizza, high rate of Mafia-related violence, etc etc], I don't really want to leave this area. Yes, I constantly bad mouth it and complain, I know, but I am in a pretty good situation here, I have friends, I am finally getting settled and learning stuff in school, I know my way around the town and whatnot! Blahhh!

Maybe Miano doesn't know what the bejeezus she's talking about and I either don't have to move at all [hope hope hope!] or I can stay in Maddz. I dunno, though...I don't think there are any more host families around here o.O Dammit! Partly why I signed up for this particular program is so that I wouldn't have to go through this crap!! I think, at the end of this "experience" I am going to write up a proper post explaining exactly why you should not utilize this program if you would like to do a student exchange in Italy. Because it is necessary.

+ + +

Well, I should probably get a move on...class will start soon!

Wishing for stagnancy,
Bee Electric

P.S. It is raining so hard here you would not believe!! It is also thunderin' pretty heavily. Only everyone has the windows open because it is so warm! Italy is freakin' weird. OK bye bye now. xoxo B

lunedì, marzo 05, 2007

What is this, a barn yard?

So the site is lookin' a little different right now...I am messing about with the new editing tools and am still working out how to use them, that is partly why the banner is not up!!

I took this video outside...it is what my city looks like at night!

Didja hear the roosters having a cock-a-doodle-doo war? At 3:30 in the morning? WTHull, guys...it was so not even light out yet!!

Speaking of videos the next podcast should be finished tomorrow...at least filming. It may take a couple of days to get the editing together, but I am planning on having it up by the end of the week, fer sures! I promise heaps awesomeness.

Cleaning her rooster ketcher,
Bee Electric

Signs point to Plus

Dang! Today is my day for kind of accidentally catching the best shows on KQED! This morning when I got up [and went online, duh] it was only about 8 minutes into Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! [8am my time, 11pm California time] so I listened to that, and just now [1 am here, 4 pm CA] is Says You! Hausome. Unfortunately, the shower called so I missed This American Life...if figures that Wait Wait's podcast is up now but This American Life's isn't. WTHull?



+ + +

In other, awesome news, I watched this Hunter S. Thompson documentary on Google Video the other day...it is a BBC doc from 1978 called "Fear and Loathing in Gonzovision" and if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. While watching it, especially because my experience with actual footage of HST is, to say the least, minimal, I was overrun with a extreme sense of deja-vu [connected to the movie of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas]. This is owed to the fact that Johnny Depp does a pretty damn spot on job playing Duke/Thompson, as well as the fact that a lot of the original writing was used, verbatim, in the script. Clips of HST driving across the desert or just talking, wearing his shorts and his visor, when interspersed with voice over quotes from Fear and Loathing in L.V. was just strange. This is my generation!

Favourite HST quotes from the documentary:
"I am living a normal life, I have a ranch, you know, a wife and child, and peacocks and dobermans." [I wish my normal life included peacocks!]
and
"That's why i'm so healthy, folks. I always roll my ice in chlorophyll before drinking my whiskey." [After dropping his ice on the lawn]

Note: The doc is 50 minutes long, so you best have a pretty speedy internet connection.

+ + +

So, I was reading N.E.E.T. Magazine [thanks, Fred for the link!] the other day, and it is filled with heaps of heaps rad things! In case you haven't heard of N.E.E.T. [No idea what, if anything, that stands for] is a free magazine, published exclusively online, that highlights independent designers and people in the fashion/creative type world! Though this issue is almost 150 pages long, a good percentage of that is photospreads, and ads [not unlike a print fashion mag! Though these ads keep you from having to plunk down 10 bucks to read it], so it doesn't take too long to read. Unless, of course, you keep clicking the links in it to all the contributors' websites, like I did!

Though I would pretty much adore to have anything I found, here are my two absolute favourites:

Gameboy Purse by Emma Ferguson

As soon as I saw this purse, I fell in heart. Of course, it pleases the wanna-be retro/gaming nerd side of me, but the real reason is because it is the same model [or at least looks it] as the one at my Grandmother's house that Danny and I used to play Tetris on. <3 Click the heading or picture for the link; you have to scroll down the list about halfway because there aren't individual product pages. £15.00 [approx. US$29.00].

Electric Pendant and earrings by Fuzz Design Workshop

I think that owning this jewellry is a job requirement for me. Plus it is radtastic anyway! I think I like the silver mirror versions better than the black [suprizing, I know!] because they are shiny and more electric looking! Of course, I'd be OK with just having one or the other, but just imagine how hausome it would be to rock all that at once! Got dang! Click the links in the heading for product pages, and the thumbnails for larger pictures. Necklace: AU$46.00 [approx. US$36.00]; Earrings: AU$36.00 [approx. US$28.00].

+ + +

The Game Boy Purse got me thinking about Game Boys...and you can get some Originals pretty cheap on eBay! Someone should buy me one [fave games: Tetris, Super Mario, and PacMan]. I remember when Game Boy Colors were the cool new thing...all the fancy type kids had 'em. Ah, the good old days before the PSP and all them other new-fangled portable gaming devices! I don't even know how they work anymore.



+ + +

I am working on getting my eclipse pictures/post together for y'all! It turned out being more excitin' [to a certain extent] than I expected!


Thinking she should probably post this already,
Bee Electric


P.S. The longer you look at it [and the more times you type it], Game Boy begins to look insanely wrong...even more than words usually do! Crazy...

P.P.S. You get truly excellent results when you do a Google Image Search for "disgruntled."


Yeah...

sabato, marzo 03, 2007

Lunar Eclipses: Been there, done that. Can I please sleep?

Nothing much going down except I finally just finished The Departed and it is my favourite movie of 2006, hands down. Sorry Little Miss Sunshine [my previous favourite]. All I can say is:
*Martin Scorsese
*Leonardo diCaprio
*Matt Damon
*Jack Nicholson
*Marky Mark
*Gangsters
*Guns
*Violence
*Boston
*Bagpipes
*OSCARS.

I just spent two hours on the Internet not replyin' to emails, updatin' this, commentin' on the FredFlare blog, or doing any of the numerous things that I really ought to. Instead, I read Jeffrey Rowland's livejournal archives. A years worth. 10 points for time well spent!

Got damn we gots to go to school in 10 minutes. To watch the lunar eclipse. I feel the need to point out here that it is not even dark yet. And it is not going to be full until midnight. In case you lack artithmatic skillz, that is six hours from now. This blows my Saturday night.

Look at how letardedly skinny Kate Bosworth is in this picture from before she and Orlando [who is now supposedly with Penelope Cruz] broke up:


Which brings us to....
Happy Last Day of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week! I celebrated by eating 76 pounds of cookies and more candy bars than I have in a month.



Dragging her fat bleep to school,
Bee Electric

venerdì, marzo 02, 2007

My Favourite Part of Disneyland...

is coming to the stand-up comedy stage!!

Even though the PCization of Disneyland means they can't actually shoot at the animatronic animals, the Jungle Boat Guides are kind of the best part of Disneyland. These guys [and gals] are my personal heroes! Everytime I go on the Jungle Boats it revives my believe in AWESOMENESS.

On March 18th, at least if you live near-ish to Fullerton, CA, you can go see past and present Jungle Boat skippers onstage at The Maverick Theater! From their website:

It's been said by many a wise man that you can take the skipper out of the jungle, but you can’t take the jungle out of the skipper.

Since 1955 the World Famous Jungle Cruise has been the home of the funniest people at Disneyland. Join us for Round 4 of the Maverick Stand Up Jungle Cruise Skipper night on Sunday, March 18, 8:00 p.m.. In case you've been trapped under a heavy appliance for the past month, this is a special night at Maverick Stand Up where all of the comics are current or former skippers! Some have gone on to perform comedy professionally and others will be taking the stage for the first time, without a script and without management’s supervision. Come hear comedy about the Jungle, life at the park, real life, as well as a video clip or two.


DAY-um! It sounds like a night to not-miss...too bad I'll be rockin' it up in Maddz! [I dearly wish that my Rome trip was then, not a week later...saying that I'd be in Rome is so much more glamourous than Maddaloni, don't you think? Oh well, at least it's Italz!]

Trading her two heads for one of yours,
Bee Electric

Links: Maverick Stand-up, Boing Boing